Name: Pepper, as in Martin, Anderson, Gomez and Spray.
Ethnicity: I’m a four-button Cardigan Welsh Corgi and long coat Chihuahua combo special. I’m 12 pounds and a total mushroom – a fun guy. (Highlights Magazine)
Birthdate: April 28, 2010
Turn-ons: Have you seen these portable cellphone battery chargers? They’re the rage on home shopping channels. In fact, they’re the No. 1, all-time best-selling product for one day. They’re about the size of a lipstick or a deck of cards. When your phone battery runs down, you just connect your phone to the charger, and you’re good to talk for two more hours. I was always running on fumes with my phone battery. It’s very frustrating. So I bought a charger. I didn’t go the easy route with home shopping. I found a company in Russia that imports them through China and mails them from Singapore. When the package arrived, it looked like gorillas had stomped on it the entire way to America. But it works. The thing is, since I got the charger, there hasn’t been one time I’ve needed it.
Turnoffs: There ought to be a law – if those bloodthirsty jackals at HLN cover a trial, the jury has to be sequestered. I can’t believe the Jodi Arias jury wasn’t somehow affected by HLN’s completely irresponsible rooting for the prosecution. Nancy Grace was practically gargling blood on TV every night. I thought the announcers would carry prosecutor Juan Martinez out of the courtroom on their shoulders. I know the jury was instructed to avoid all media coverage, but that trial dominated Phoenix for five months. No jury member could be that shut off from the world to avoid HLN’s nightly witch burning. I watched most of the trial. The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders are more impartial during a Cowboys game. I’m telling you, one of these trials, HLN is going to cause a mistrial.
Ideal home: Finally, after the longest test marketing in pastry history, the Hoffy Twist has been approved to debut in Shipley’s Do-Nut shops throughout Houston. The rollout will start next month. Warning: they’re fantastic. Unlike some shameless hucksters, I don’t put my name on any product unless I know it’s guaranteed incredible. The Hoffy Twist is a glazed cinnamon twist dunked in dark chocolate frosting. I worked months developing it with Lawrence Shipley III himself.
Ken Hoffman
Pepper is available for adoption at Citizens for Animal Protection, www.cap4pets.org, 17555 Katy Freeway. Call 281-497-0591.
Pethouse Pet of the Week: June 2
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